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Band 6.5

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned be¬cause of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #be¬cause #effects
Undoubtedly, an increasing number of advertisements have been shown on many occasions and in media, and they bring numerous consequences. Some people contend that those
ads
 which mainly target
children
 should be forbidden
due to
 their bad influences. From my perspective, I agree that
due to
 the negative
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
, these
ads
 should be banned. Some
ads
 may have a negative impact on
children
's cognitive systems, because
children
 are too young to definite everything, meaning that they cannot realize the aggressive promotion effects, and mistake that the information they got is right.
For example
,
due to
 the lack of nutrition knowledge and quite a few adverts' influences, when
children
 go to the supermarket, they tend to purchase candies and snacks
instead
 of healthy food.
Additionally
, watching
ads
 will jeopardize
children
's consumption concepts,
due to
 the initial censorship, not all contents are suitable for
children
, causing them brainwashed and spend a quantity of money on products.
For instance
, some phone games lack the right guidance and notice for the young generation, making them addicted to the games. It is true that
ads
 aimed at
children
also
 have positive impacts,
such
 as non-commercial
ads
, setting a role model and guiding the right way for the public.
However
, the disadvantages do harm to
children
 obviously,
hence
, it should be taken into consideration and measures to decrease the harm by governments and enterprises. In conclusion, when weighing the pros and cons, the drawbacks exceed the advantages, I strongly agree that advertisements which target
children
 should be forbidden because of the bad influences.
Submitted by gaott0617 on

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task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear opinion throughout, and directly answer the question in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
It is important to provide specific examples that are directly related to the claims you're making, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating more logically organized paragraphs with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively to link your ideas and ensure smooth reading.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • vulnerability
  • impressionability
  • developmental stage
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • dietary choices
  • childhood obesity
  • materialism
  • consumerism
  • parental control
  • consumption
  • advertising literacy
  • interpret
  • outright ban
  • economic repercussions
  • media outlets
  • ad revenue
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