Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In recent years,

children

Use synonyms

have spent most of their hours on

phones

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This

Linking Words

is behaviour because modern life has forced them to have

this

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habit. I believe

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has a negative impact on

children

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’s

lives

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. One of the main reasons for

this

Linking Words

case the is modern lifestyle,

smartphones

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are something essential in our

lives

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, and everyone has them and depends on them.

Additionally

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

technological advancements, many teachers use some platforms on

phones

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as one of the learning methods.

For instance

Linking Words

, platforms

such

Linking Words

as Zoom meetings, Udemy, and YouTube have been used significantly by teachers to teach their

children

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and

this

Linking Words

way has forced many

children

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to spend long hours on their

smartphones

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to study.

Hence

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, some schools in the UK have changed their education system, which is now hugely based on technology devices which contributes

children

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to using their

smartphones

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in order to study rather than using traditional ways.

However

Linking Words

smartphones

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have negative effects on

children

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’s brains and isolate them from society and the real world.

According to

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some recent research, spending more than an hour on

phones

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children

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will damage their brain cells, delay mental development, and separate them from reality, which is extremely dangerous for their future

lives

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For example

Linking Words

, in recent years, there are some

children

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have diagnosed with depression

due to

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the influences of social media and how other people have a great life compared with them, which makes them unwilling to engage with society and unconsciously believe everything on social media. I think parents should be careful in raising

children

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and not allow them to use

smartphones

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for more than an hour to provide a better life for them. In conclusion, many

children

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spend hours regularly on their

smartphones

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because the modern lifestyle forces them to use

phones

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all the time

as well as

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in several fields

such

Linking Words

as learning.

However

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, I believe that

this

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phenomenon has a negative impact on

children

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’s well-being and their social

lives

Use synonyms

in the future.

ghazl.1998gThu Dec 19 2024

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task achievement

Clarify the main ideas in your introduction and ensure your thesis statement is clear.

coherence and cohesion

Try to vary your sentence structure more to enhance the flow of your ideas.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your main points; this will strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, stating that it has negative impacts on children’s lives.

task achievement

You successfully highlighted issues related to technology in education, making your argument relevant to contemporary discussions.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. Why does this happen? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

You have been working in a company for three years, but now wish to leaving job. Write a letter to the manager of the company. In your letter- * What have you learned while working for the company? * Did you enjoyed working there? * What are you reasons for leaving the job?

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that adventurous travel experiences can significantly enhance personal growth and development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.