IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

One of the most pressing problems facing the world today is overpopulation. What policies do you believe governments should adopt to address the causes and effects of this problem?

#world #overpopulation #policies #governments #address #effects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the
last
 century the population has grown very fast and it is still growing. Now in the near future the world is going to be saddled with the responsibility of feeding and taking care of
this
 population. Overpopulation is a growing threat and the governments needs to look critically into ways of reducing
this
 growing problem.
Firstly
, it is very important to look at the smallest unit of the society which is the family. All policies to reduced overpopulation should be targeted at
this
 unit. The debate should include a logical projection on how families should be limited to the number of children they should have.
Then
 these family units should be educated on policies used by government,
such
 as family planning, family birth rate, women’s role in family to curb overpopulation.
Secondly
, a lot of cultural myth and belief surrounds having children all over the world. In fact, some of these beliefs have resulted in the steep in population these past years.
For example
, some cultures believe the number of children a man has determines how wealthy or powerful he is. People with
this
 type of cultural beliefs will need proper orientation and awareness to understand the detriments of
such
 beliefs. In conclusion, all over the world, there are a lot of policies now been in place in many countries trying to address the problem of overpopulation, but in my own view, special attention must be given to the family, creating awareness, orientation and education must be given high priority.
Submitted by krixvic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: