Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child's development. However, others argue that other things like television or friends have the most siginificant influence. Discuss both views and opinion.

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It is a debatable issue whether guardians play the leading role in a child's fundamental development, or whether other sources
such
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as media and social
friends
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have more impact on a child's life.
This
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essay will discuss both views. As far as I am concerned, I am in favour of the first notion. To commence with the former view,
parents
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are the role models for their
children
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because in childhood,
children
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spend most of their
time
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with their guardians and they learn most of the important skills from them
such
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as behaviour, social skills and so on.
For example
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: I saw one of my nieces, spend his childhood with their
parents
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and he just followed their footprints the ways. We can say he is just a carbon copy of them.
As a result
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, If a child is nurtured in a good environment
then
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his development is
also
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better and he will respect everybody. Shifting towards the latter notion, when both
parents
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are working that
time
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children
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have the influence of the television and social
friends
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. It is true that when
children
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are alone at home that
time
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social media are their best
friends
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, they see the media and follow them in the same way and sometimes
time
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they make
friends
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and get admired for their journey.
For instance
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, a survey conducted by a famous newspaper, Cable News Network in 2024 revealed that 60% of
children
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's influenced by television because they see it most of the
time
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. In conclusion,
although
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television and making
friends
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is a great source for
children
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to learn many things, I believe that
parents
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are more crucial for them for the
overall
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endorsement.

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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas presented are fully developed and clearly articulated. For example, expand on how friends influence children's behavior alongside the role of parents.
coherence and cohesion
Consider improving the transitions between sentences and paragraphs to better guide the reader through your argument. Each new point should be linked more explicitly to the previous one.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and clarity in sentences. Some sentences had structural issues that slightly hindered understanding.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear opinion and structure, discussing both sides of the argument which is indicative of good organization.
task achievement
The use of examples to support arguments is effective and helps illustrate points being made, which adds credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • role models
  • values
  • norms
  • emotional support
  • psychological growth
  • educational tool
  • cognitive development
  • social influencers
  • social skills
  • balanced influence
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