IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare, other believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #governments #tax-payer #money #healthcare #areas #points
In the 21st century, where should the
government
 invest
money
, is one of the most debatable topics. Numerous individuals assert that the more fund should be allocated to the medical facility to improve
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
, while others differ with
this
 belief. In my opinion, the
government
 should divide the
money
 proportionately into segments
such
 as medical, education and
construction
. Admittedly, the healthcare facility in any country should be very well developed and the
government
 should provide vital importance to
this
 field. An adequate amount of
money
 should be provided to the
health
 department to expand facilities, so that pauper people can
also
 get expensive medical treatments
at
Suggestion
for
 low or free of cost. To illustrate, in countries like Canada,
health
 care for elderly citizens is free, as the
government
 is granting huge funds to the medical department.
Thus
, assigning proper
money
 to the medical segment of the country is advantageous for domestic people. On the other side, apart from
health
 care, there are other areas
also
,
such
 as education and
construction
, where the uninterrupted focus of the
government
 is required. These fields are indispensable for the development of any country as the
development growth
Accept comma addition
development, growth
 can be measured not only on good
health
 care facilities but
also
 on the rate of educated citizens and the
construction
 of basic facilities
such
 as roads and buildings.
That is
 why the
government
 should
also
 distribute an ample amount of
money
 to these segments as well. To conclude, there is no doubt that healthcare is crucial and the
government
 should invest more in that department, but other facilities
such
 as education and
construction
also
 are important for the nation.
Submitted by supriya.chdhr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tax-payer’s money
  • Healthcare
  • Long-term costs
  • Productive workforce
  • Sick days
  • Equal access
  • Essential services
  • Sectors
  • Education
  • Infrastructure
  • Defense
  • Development
  • Security
  • Knowledgeable population
  • Innovation
  • Economic growth
  • Quality of life
  • Funding allocation
  • Comprehensive development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: