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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

New research showed that overeating has become bigger problem in the world than hunger. What are the reasons of this problem? How can solve it?

In today's globalised world, recent studies have found that an unbalanced diet has become a huge worldwide issue compared to hunger.
This
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 essay will explore the reasons for a certain phenomenon and suggest possible solutions. There are a few reasons for
this
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 problem, which is a devastating health problem.
As a result
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 of being overweight, more and more people will be suffering from irreversible diseases
such
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 as obesity and diabetes;
moreover
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, both of these will lead to other more serious troubles , like cardiovascular diseases and ophthalmic problems too.
For instance
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, health issues like blockage of main arteries are a life-threatening condition,
as well as
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 retina problems in consequence of long-standing diabetes mellitus. Another fact is caused by unbalanced eating.
For example
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, a decrease in an individual’s productivity. Overweight, in short, has become a serious issue
due to
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 its irreversibility.
However
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, there are several solutions that might be offered to minimise the trouble. The government might support the campaign by raising the awareness of the population via TV shows and imposing social media-based campaigns. In terms of TV shows , the information should be clear and simple to be easily understood and can trigger them to be healthier. Social media apps
also
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 play a crucial role in awareness , particularly among the younger group , which is the major audience.
In addition
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, imposing taxes on junk food and unhealthy diets is contributing to lower these kinds of food. In conclusion, there is no doubt that overeating is a more serious challenge for countries across the world to resolve than hunger. The essay demonstrated that threatening conditions
such
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 as diabetes mellitus and obesity , and low productivity make the phenomenon more dangerous,
whereas
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 increasing the population’s awareness about a healthy diet and

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task achievement
Expand your ideas in each main point to give a more complete answer.
coherence
Use clearer linking words to connect your ideas better in paragraphs.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion clearly outline the topic and give a good summary.
examples
You have included some relevant examples to support your points.
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