Some parents bring their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#parents #children #toys

Parents

Accept space

buy

lot

Suggestion

lots

of toys

Accept space

for their children to play and enjoy to keep them elated

andsee

Suggestion

and see

joy

Suggestion

the joy

on their faces.In my opinion,

its

it is

it's

good to get toys for the toddlers if one can afford so

Accept space

additionally

if these can enhance mental strength

Accept space

however it

Accept comma addition

however, it

can have negative impacts

too

Accept comma addition

too, such

to such

such

as they might not understand

value

Suggestion

the value

of things if they get it too easily. Modern life has become so fast moving that neither of the

paretns

a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays the role of guardian

parents

get

Suggestion

gets

sufficient time to

spent

Suggestion

spend

with the their children, so in order to replace that vacuum they buy

lot

Suggestion

lots

of toys to their children so that they remain engrossed with them. These days there are

lot

Suggestion

lots

of toys

availble

obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service

available

automatic remote controlled car

Suggestion

an automatic remote controlled car

automatic remote controlled cars

airplane

and

robots etc

Accept comma addition

robots, etc.

robots etc.

which are enticing

for

Suggestion

the children of the current generation.

However

Accept space

it better one gets the toys for their children which can help them

incresing

Suggestion

increase

increasing

to increase

their intelligence and imagination.

On the other hand

, there are negative effects

Accept space

children have

lot

Suggestion

lots

of things to play with might loose the importance of monetary resources.

Additionally

for example

, the other children, who

dont

do not

don't

posses these toys might feel envious of the children, who enjoy the benefits of these

luxurious

Suggestion

luxuries

Tue Dec 24 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

200 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In some societies, obesity is regarded as a major problem. Some people believe that junk food advertising is largely to blame for this problem and should be banned. However, others feel that junk food advertising does not contribute to the problem of obesity and should not be banned. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. You should use your own ideas, knowledge, and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. Write at least 250 words
For some citizens of different countries, fatness is accepted as a main problem, additionally, people think that street food advertisements are the major problem about this issue and should be forbidden. Nevertheless, others believe that unhealthy food advertisements do not contain any problem about heaviness and should not be banned. In my opinion, self-awareness is important for everyone's life and people who are working for street food advertisements, or working in restaurants which sell unhealthy food just do their jobs, and earn money. And sometimes eating from these restaurants can be enjoyable for us, but all people have to balance their diet.
6.5
band
It is important for everyone including young people to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Saving money is a crucial aspect of financial planning that contributes significantly to personal stability and long-term security. However, there is a bad side to budgeting money for youngsters.
7.5
band
Sample Question Version 02 (Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.
Over the past few decades, we have witnessed a remarkable tendency among young adults to engage in paid or unpaid work. While some argue that this trend imposes undue pressure on youth, others view it creates a great opportunity to discover practical challenges they will face in their lives at some point. From my perspective, early work experiences offer invaluable chances to gain practical skills and develop a strong sense of responsibility.
5
band
The Biggest Mistake of This Generation Is Running Behind Pretty Faces and Ignoring Good Hearts
In today's fast-paced and image-driven world. Thе obsession with chasing after attractive people whіlе ignoring their true selves—their character and good heart—іs one of this generation’s biggest mistakes. Because of the popularity of social media and the focus on physical attractiveness, people are frequently persuaded by surface-level factors rather than looking for deep connections. This preoccupation with appearance can result in superficial bonds being formed and the loss of chances to connect with people who have good hearts by genuinely getting to know them.
5
band
Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden?
There is no denying the fact that in some countries around the earth kids do not make English as a main language at school. While it is a commonly held belief that, teachers make kids at school learn English and make it second language, there is also an argument that in some areas they learn kids how to speak English as a main language. This essay will analyse this topic from both points of view and express my opinon.

Some parents bring their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for everyone including young people to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Sample Question Version 02 (Discuss both views) : In many countries, young adults are engaged in some kinds of work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. Others consider it as a valuable experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. Discuss both views.

The Biggest Mistake of This Generation Is Running Behind Pretty Faces and Ignoring Good Hearts

Around the world children learn English language as a second language at school. however, in some places they also learn at Kinder garden. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of learning at kinder garden?