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Band 2.5

Some parents bring their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#parents #children #toys
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Parents
,
Accept space
,
 buy
Use synonyms
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of toys
,
Accept space
,
 for their children to play and enjoy to keep them elated
andsee
Suggestion
and see
joy
Suggestion
the joy
 on their faces.In my opinion,
its
it is
it's
 good to get toys for the toddlers if one can afford so
,
Accept space
,
additionally
Linking Words
 if these can enhance mental strength
,
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,
Linking Words
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
 can have negative impacts
too
Accept comma addition
too, such
to such
such
Linking Words
 as they might not understand
value
Suggestion
the value
 of things if they get it too easily. Modern life has become so fast moving that neither of the
paretns
a father or mother; one who begets or one who gives birth to or nurtures and raises a child; a relative who plays the role of guardian
parents
get
Suggestion
gets
 sufficient time to
spent
Suggestion
spend
 with the their children, so in order to replace that vacuum they buy
Use synonyms
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of toys to their children so that they remain engrossed with them. These days there are
Use synonyms
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of toys
availble
obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service
available
 like
automatic remote controlled car
Suggestion
an automatic remote controlled car
automatic remote controlled cars
,
airplane
Suggestion
 and
robots etc
Accept comma addition
robots, etc.
robots etc.
 which are enticing
for
Suggestion
to
 the children of the current generation.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
it better one gets the toys for their children which can help them
incresing
Suggestion
increase
increasing
to increase
 their intelligence and imagination.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are negative effects
,
Accept space
,
children have
Use synonyms
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of things to play with might loose the importance of monetary resources.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
for example
Linking Words
, the other children, who
dont
do not
don't
 posses these toys might feel envious of the children, who enjoy the benefits of these
luxurious
Suggestion
luxuries

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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