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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many people today are spending more and more time travelling to work or school. Some people believe this is a negative development while others think there are benefits to spending a long time travelling to work or school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #work #school #development
Although
, some believe that longer journey hours to
work
 or school can be beneficial, other people consider that it can be detrimental. In my opinion, I think that people ought not to spend longer
time
 during their commute, as it can decrease productivity and increase stress. On the one hand, long hours of commuting means that they can enjoy the scenery during the trip, but I disagree.
This
 is due to the fact that they have to drive or ride public transportations and passes through great views on the way to
work
 or school. In Tokyo,
for example
, many people often opt to travel long hours to
work
 in order to see the Mount Fuji along the way.
Hence
, long commute can benefit them through the beautiful scenery on their journey.
On the other hand
, longer travel
time
 can lower their productivity and can affect the mental health in the long run.
This
 is because of the extensive
time
 consumed during the trip, which prevents them from doing their
work
 or school activities.
Additionally
,
this
 can lead to stress and depression, since their mind and body ha
ve l
Suggestion
has
ess
time
 to rest.
For instance
, researchers discovered that people who
work
 in the city but live in rural areas are likely to do overtime
work
 in order to avoid peak hours, since it can be extremely crowded and stressful. If society decided to have lesser travel
time
,
then
 they will be able to enjoy their free
time
 to do
work
 or to relax. In conclusion,
although
 some people may have va
ry o
Suggestion
varying
varied
variations
pinions, I think that people ought to commute shorter hours in order to improve their mental well-being and productivity.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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