Some people think that museums should be free for everyone. Others think visitors should pay to enter. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
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Introduction
People
have different views about Use synonyms
museums
. Some Use synonyms
people
think Use synonyms
museums
should be free for everyone. Others think visitors should pay to enter. In my opinion, paying is better, because Use synonyms
museums
need Use synonyms
money
to stay open and keep the objects safe.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 1
People
who support free Use synonyms
museums
have one good reasonUse synonyms
:
it helps Punctuation problem
:
families
with little Use synonyms
money
. Some Use synonyms
families
cannot pay for Use synonyms
tickets
, so they stay at home. Use synonyms
For example
, a father with four Linking Words
children
may need to pay forty dollars for one visit. Use synonyms
This
is too much for him, so his Linking Words
children
never see the Use synonyms
museum
. Because of Use synonyms
this
, free Linking Words
tickets
let more Use synonyms
children
learn about history, which helps them in school. These Use synonyms
children
can Use synonyms
then
enjoy the Linking Words
museum
with their parents. So free Use synonyms
museums
give every child a chance to learn.Use synonyms
Body paragraph 2
However
, I believe that paying is better, because Linking Words
museums
need Use synonyms
money
to stay open. Use synonyms
For example
, a Linking Words
museum
must pay for guards, cleaners and electricity every month. If visitors do not pay, the Use synonyms
museum
may close some rooms. Because of Use synonyms
this
, fewer Linking Words
people
can see the old objects, which makes the visit less interesting. The Use synonyms
museum
can sell cheaper Use synonyms
tickets
to students, so Use synonyms
families
can still visit. Use synonyms
This
means that more Linking Words
children
can learn, and the Use synonyms
museum
can still pay for its work. Use synonyms
This
is why paying is the better choice.Linking Words
Conclusion
In conclusion, free
museums
help Use synonyms
families
with little Use synonyms
money
, and Use synonyms
this
lets more Linking Words
children
learn. Use synonyms
However
, I believe that paying is better, because Linking Words
museums
need Use synonyms
money
to stay open. Use synonyms
This
is why visitors should pay, and students can have cheaper Linking Words
tickets
.Use synonyms
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task response
You answer both sides and give your own view. To make your view stronger, say more about why paying is better than free entry for all people, not only for the museum.
task response
Your ideas are clear, but they are a little simple. Add one more point, such as how money from tickets can help fix old things or make new shows.
task response
Your examples are useful. Make them feel more real by saying how low-cost tickets, free days, or help from the city could work.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: free entry, paid entry, then your ending. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines repeat the same idea, especially that children can learn and that museums need money. Join or change these lines so each part adds a new point.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to show a closer link between ideas. For example, use “also”, “as a result”, “on the other hand”, and “for this reason”.
coherence and cohesion
In the last part, do not repeat almost all of the first lines. Give a short final answer and restate the main reason for it in a fresh way.
task response
You discuss both free entry and paid entry, and your own view is clear from the start.
task response
The example of a parent with four children helps show why free entry can matter for families with less money.
coherence and cohesion
Each main part has one clear idea, and the examples fit the point of that part.
coherence and cohesion
The start and the ending are both present, and they match your main view.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite