Workers in Korea have too many rights and it affects a company’s efficiency. Do you agree or disagree with this idea, giving examples.

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today

Suggestion

today's

todays

’ society, more and more employers put an emphasis on their rights at workplaces. While some insist that as Korean workers try to exercise their rights the productivity of companies decrease, it is flawed argument.

This

Linking Words

essay, I will articulate as to why I disagree with the former opinion and explain

benefits

Suggestion

the benefits

of protecting

employers’ right

Suggestion

an employers’ right

the employers’ right

employers’ rights

for companies. Above all, allowing workers to exercise their rights protects them from being exhausted. Many recent researches revealed that the serious implications of burn-out. Those who do not take sufficient rests can burn out easily and their

work

Use synonyms

performances are below the average. To alleviate

this

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problem, some companies are implementing a policy which providing at least twelve days of vacation per year

Suggestion

for

all workers including newly recruited ones.

In addition

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, the government

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also reduce

Suggestion

also reduces

has also reduced

the maximum working hours to ensure enterprises not to harness their employees excessively. After these changes, workers can find balance between

work

Use synonyms

and life, improve their health and maintain their or

efficiencies

Suggestion

efficiency

as well.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when

employees

Suggestion

employees'

employee

rights are protected, they can fully concentrate on their tasks. It is because they can deal with both

work

Use synonyms

and family responsibilities.

For example

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, in Korea, for employees in private enterprises, taking maternity or paternity leaves is not easy. As their employers tend to fire or penalise them who want to take it.

As a result

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, they give up the right to take care of their babies and cannot focus on their

work

Use synonyms

as they worry their kids who have to sent daycare

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

from too early ages.

However

Linking Words

, if mother and

father

Suggestion

father's

wage-earners are allowed to have sufficient time to raise their kids, after they return to their

work

Use synonyms

, they would display their

ability

Suggestion

abilities

to the maximum as there are less concerns about their kids. To conclude, the productivity of companies is not affected negatively because of the protection of employees’ rights, rather it would allow them to maintain their

work

Use synonyms

efficiencies.

Thus

Linking Words

, their rights should be secured for the individual worker and the companies as well.

Tue Dec 24 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Workers in Korea have too many rights and it affects a company’s efficiency. Do you agree or disagree with this idea, giving examples.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

104.In some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try har enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some working parents think that childcare centers provide the best care for children who are still too young to go to school. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government should financially support retired people. Others think they should care for themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?