many people think that fast food companies should not be allowed to advertise while others believe that all companies should have the right to advertise.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, parents believe that education is the priority for their children to secure a better future as it enables them to find a high-salaried job.
However
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
competitive world, students are required to have higher educations in order for them to achieve success.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many parents believe that their children should sacrifice their precious free
time
Use synonyms
to do educational activities, which allows them to gain more knowledge. While I agree with the idea that doing educational activities during free
time
Use synonyms
will help students to be more competitive, I believe that in
this
Linking Words
way children are under significant pressure. On the one hand, there are a variety of distinct advantages for students to enrol in educational activities during their free
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by satisfying free
time
Use synonyms
to
study
Use synonyms
, children can gain a deeper understanding about their
study
Use synonyms
, and
consequently
Linking Words
, it will be advantaged for children as they can become more competitive with other students in order to be enrolled into their courses.
For example
Linking Words
, if children want to be a part of tertiary education in these tertiary institutions, it is essential for them to spend more
time
Use synonyms
to
study
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is apparent that children should utilise their free
time
Use synonyms
for doing more educational activities in order to get into a better institution in the future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people argued that forcing children to give up their leisure
time
Use synonyms
will cause children to suffer severe pressure. Every student already has a significant amount of homework and assessment that are required for them to complete, it is crucial for students to enjoy leisure
time
Use synonyms
and relax.
Although
Linking Words
children can be more talented by doing more
study
Use synonyms
, it is
also
Linking Words
essential for children to play and participate in other extracurricular activities, which offer a chance for children to improve their mental and physical growth. In conclusion, replacing student’s leisure
time
Use synonyms
by educational activities offer a pathway for students to be more competitive with other students.
However
Linking Words
, most of the students already have an excessive amount of assessment for them to complete, and sacrifices their free
time
Use synonyms
may cause students to suffer pressure.
Submitted by siyuruan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: