IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

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The two given maps illustrate all the changes that have taken place in Porth Harbour from the year 2000 to the present day.
Overall
, many things have changed in the harbour since 2000,
Such
 as new additions like leisure facilities, and renovations in the castle which has been converted into a
hotel
.
Firstly
, just a glance at the two maps gives us information on how the disused castle was replaced by a new
hotel
.
Furthermore
, the marina for private yachts and fishing boats has switched locations.
Lastly
, the southern car park shown on the first map cannot be accessed the same way now, since the entrance was relocated from the road on the west side of the harbour to the main road.
Secondly
, the public beach near the castle has been converted to a private one for the
hotel
.
In addition
, a new dock was built to contain more passenger ferries. It is
also
 worth noting that cafes and shops were added to the west of the lifeboat station,
as well as
 the extra showers and toilets that were developed to the north of the southern car park. At
last
, the road was extended to reach the
hotel
.
Submitted by layanjk33 on

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task achievement
Your report effectively summarizes the main features and changes in the harbor over the years. However, ensure every detail comparison has clear markers, such as 'compared to', 'while', 'in contrast to' for even smoother reading.
coherence cohesion
Maintain consistency in terms used, such as mentions of the 'car park' and its 'entrance' to avoid confusion. For coherence, ensure transitions between comparisons are explicit.
task achievement
You provided a comprehensive and clear depiction of changes, effectively covering key features like the new hotel, cafe, and changes to the car park entrance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction that sets the context and body paragraphs that individually focus on different aspects of the harbor development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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