Due to grow of obesity among children. Most of people started to seek determination of this problem. to what extend do you agree or disagree

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It is undeniable that in
this
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era of health, life become more convenient to diet with than ever.
However
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, more and more
children
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suffer from obesity and consider the largest fraction of danger nowadays. Despite others saying it is a normal risk.
This
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essay will delve into some measures to avoid
this
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phenomenon, by providing relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, there are numerous drawbacks which directly linked to alarming cases. The first and foremost solution is that parents Introduce healthy food for their
children
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. What is more, diet plays a crucial role in lifestyle. To illustrate more, later a study conducted by the University of Nizwa in 2024 showed several
children
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who eat junk food throughout the day, feel sleepy and have a low mark in school. Sequentially,
this
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generation has obesity and illness.
On the other hand
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, a lot of
children
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withdraw from sports
due to
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technology.
Moreover
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, parents complain about
this
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situation which affects
children
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.
As a result
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, adults acquire the eight without movement. A clear example is the Omani Educational Associate indicated that a child who sits in front of screens, obtains a higher weight rather than a child who has indoor activities or outdoor activities in his lifestyle.
Thus
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, sport plays a vital role in acquiring fitness. In conclusion, no doubt in
this
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era of neck-to-neck competition, individuals encourage
children
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to do a variety of sports not only that but
also
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healthy food has a profound impact on these members of the community, these can be lessened by some immediate steps by the government and parents.

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Ensure your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This helps the reader understand your argument from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more varied examples and support your arguments more thoroughly to make your points more persuasive and relatable.
content
You effectively identify a relevant social issue in your introduction, which sets the context for the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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