IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #hobby #trend
It is true that lately shopping has become a leisure pursuit. While it indicates our growth in terms of production, it
also
 leads to exploitation of natural resources. I believe
this
 change in people's habit has more demerits than merits.
To begin
 with, one of the reasons why people shop more often is that the purchasing power of individuals has increased.
This
 is because the income levels have gone up, which means that after fulfilling their basic needs, they still are left with enough money to shop.
Also
, mostly in humans, the desire to have new material is natural;
therefore
, shopping has become a leisure activity nowadays.
Secondly
,
this
 generation is the generation of fashion lovers. The reason for
this
 is that fashion has become a status symbol and people are being judged if they possess obsolete stuff; thereby, indirectly forcing individuals to follow current trends.
Nevertheless
, in an attempt to stay updated with the fashion, we have given rise to an unethical practice. Today, where cloths or other possessions were used to fulfil needs, we have set it as a parameter to judge someone's standard in the society.
Consequently
, the society would be divided into different discriminatory sections.
Besides
this
, increase in purchases would mean heavy production of goods. As people are purchasing frequently, the old items would become useless, which ends up being dumped.
This
 means that we are exploiting the natural resources which were
initially
 used in the production of these goods. In conclusion,
although
 people going shopping frequently show that we are fashionable and our incomes are not only fulfilling our needs but
also
 our desires, the morally wrong message
this
 is giving to young ones and exploitation of natural resources is negatively impacting our society.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • retail therapy
  • materialism
  • disposable income
  • economic growth
  • financial instability
  • environmental impact
  • social interaction
  • community building
  • emotional satisfaction
  • advertising influence
  • shopping habits
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