IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #children #home #kindergarten #support
There is a great deal of debate on which form of
education
 is best for a toddler. Some people believe that it is essential for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young ones to learn at home;
however
, I strongly support those who think it is better for a
child
 to go to kindergarten, as it improves the
child
's communication and provides basic academic concepts. Perhaps, it appears to be that the most significant reason for a
child
 to attend kindergarten, is that it develops their communication. It is
well- known
Correct your spelling
well-known
show examples
that when children go to school, they learn how to communicate with their peers.
For instance
,
this
 is evident in situations where they learn the importance of how to play games together
as well as
 the significance of
shareing
Correct your spelling
sharing
 toys.
This
therefore
 could lead to developing collaborative
skills
 and social
skills
 that are needed for their growth.
Moreover
, there is a widely observed impact of how
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
can prepare a
child
 with basic
education
 before school. Studies have shown, that when the young ones start
education
 early in nurseries, that have structured academic programs and professional teachers, it indirectly improves their
listing
Correct your spelling
listening
show examples
, reading, and writing
skills
.
consequently
, preparing them on what to expect when they begin
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their primary
education
.
Additionally
, it
also
 fosters the routine of waking up early, learning the protocols of a
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
, and how to study. In conclusion, it seems to be more reasonable to take a
child
 to kindergarten as it helps develop their social
skills
 to make them well-rounded and
also
 prepares them before going into higher
education
. It appears to be that the benefits outweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by sara.elkhansa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all main points are thoroughly supported with clear examples or evidence. For example, provide more specific instances of how kindergarten children develop communication or basic academic skills.
coherence cohesion
Work on the consistency of spelling and word usage to make the text more cohesive. For instance, 'kindergarden' should be 'kindergarten', 'shareing' should be 'sharing', and 'listening' should be 'listening'.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. This provides a solid framework for the discussion and helps in presenting a coherent argument.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and comprehensively address the prompt, showing a good understanding of the question.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social skills
  • structured learning environment
  • professional educators
  • developmental needs
  • flexible schedule
  • individual learning pace
  • parental involvement
  • peer learning
  • collaborative skills
  • formal education
  • school routine
  • classroom etiquette
  • basic academic concepts
  • interactive learning
  • developmental milestones
  • cognitive and emotional development
  • play-based learning
  • early childhood education
  • holistic development
  • individualized attention
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!