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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some say that people living in high-rise apartments are lonely and unhappy, while others say that it’s advantageous to stay in high-rise apartments. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#say #people #apartments #it’s
Some would argue that individuals living in high-storeys feel alone and miserable, while others say that residing in high-rise buildings has merits. While people who live in high-rise buildings have less neighbours, I believe that it is advantageous to stay in these buildings as they provide all the amenities under one roof. On the one hand, individuals living in high-rise apartments often feel alone and unhappy because they have fewer neighbours.
That is
 to say, many people buy residential flats in these apartments to invest
their money
Suggestion
their money, such
such
 that it can yield high financial returns in the future.
Thus
, they do not actually live in those apartments which reduces the number of people.
As a result
, people feel isolated and disconnected. To illustrate, a recent survey by the Times of India revealed that the occupancy level in high-rise buildings
have reduced
Suggestion
has reduced
 by 20% as people feel miserable staying alone as
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of buyers are investors.
However
, people can enjoy the modern facilities that these buildings provide.
On the other hand
, residing in high-rise buildings has merits as people have access to the state-of-art facilities
at
Suggestion
in
 one place.
In other words
, these buildings offer
majority
Suggestion
a majority
the majority
 of recreational activities
such
 as swimming pool, gym and play area within their building premises which makes it convenient for people to enjoy them.
Thus
, they do not have to travel anywhere to enjoy these facilities.
For instance
, 35% of people prefer staying in high-rise apartments as they have all the modern facilities that they look for to enjoy themselves along with their family. I believe
this
 school of thought is preferable to me because
this
 not only saves time but
also
 money as people have everything available within their society. In conclusion,
although
 people who reside in modern high-rise buildings feel aloof and unhappy as there are
limited number
Suggestion
a limited number
 of neighbours, staying in these buildings has advantageous as it provides them the accessibility to all the latest amenities at a single place.
Submitted by sg186023 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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