It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age .Purnishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? What sort of purnishment should patents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?
It is often argued that youngsters should focus on learning the variance between good and bad
things
in their childhood, while
others believe that imposing various types of punishment
may help them to distinguish between good and bad behaviours. I completely disagree with this
statement, and I will explain the reasons with my own opinion regarding this
phenomenon.
To begin
with, it is very common for people particularly students
to get involved in criminal activities like violence, and fighting in their childhood if they were not directed properly by their parents or teachers. Besides
, some young people from underdeveloped countries tend to engage in wrongdoing and the social system punishes them harshly which is why they feel depressed either physically or mentally. For example
, once upon a time in Bangladesh, students
were beaten with sticks in their classroom as a punishment
for not completing the homework or doing the wrong thing. Therefore
, children
were more conscious of their wrongdoings in student life.
On the other hand
, teachers or parents should take responsibility in such
a way that children
are always able to identify good behaviour. If children
tend to follow bad things
, the teacher must put the students
under little punishment
, like not talking with them for a while
or prohibiting them from playing on playgrounds, as well as
imposing restrictions on computer or mobile games. This
type of punishment
system will not only encourage children
to do good work but also
make them serious about avoiding punishment
repeatedly.
In a nutshell, even if the students
should identify the difference between good and bad things
, I disagree with heavy punishment
unless they are not able to follow good things
. Additionally
, students
might be warned if they make a mistake for the first time.Submitted by faisalmahamood on
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task achievement
To enhance your score, particularly in task achievement, ensure your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the extent to which you agree or disagree with the necessity of punishment for learning right from wrong, and also elaborating on the types of punishment parents and teachers should use. Your essay slightly touches upon this but could delve deeper into specific examples and a broader range of punishments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Using transitional phrases and clearly delineated paragraphs can help. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs could be better linked to these sections and to each other. Clearly outline your main points at the beginning and revisit them in your conclusion for greater impact.
task achievement
Incorporate more diverse and specific examples to support your points. While the essay mentions the example of Bangladesh, additional, varied examples could strengthen your argument. Also, directly tie these examples back to your main argument to make your case more compelling.