It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age .Purnishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction . To what extent do you agree or disagree ? What sort of purnishment should patents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often argued that youngsters should focus on learning the variance between good and bad

things

Use synonyms

in their childhood,

while

Linking Words

others believe that imposing various types of

punishment

Use synonyms

may help them to distinguish between good and bad behaviours. I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, and I will explain the reasons with my own opinion regarding

this

Linking Words

phenomenon.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is very common for people particularly

students

Use synonyms

to get involved in criminal activities like violence, and fighting in their childhood if they were not directed properly by their parents or teachers.

Besides

Linking Words

, some young people from underdeveloped countries tend to engage in wrongdoing and the social system punishes them harshly which is why they feel depressed either physically or mentally.

For example

Linking Words

, once upon a time in Bangladesh,

students

Use synonyms

were beaten with sticks in their classroom as a

punishment

Use synonyms

for not completing the homework or doing the wrong thing.

Therefore

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

were more conscious of their wrongdoings in student life.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, teachers or parents should take responsibility in

such

Linking Words

a way that

children

Use synonyms

are always able to identify good behaviour. If

children

Use synonyms

tend to follow bad

things

Use synonyms

, the teacher must put the

students

Use synonyms

under little

punishment

Use synonyms

, like not talking with them for a

while

Linking Words

or prohibiting them from playing on playgrounds,

as well as

Linking Words

imposing restrictions on computer or mobile games.

This

Linking Words

type of

punishment

Use synonyms

system will not only encourage

children

Use synonyms

to do good work but

also

Linking Words

make them serious about avoiding

punishment

Use synonyms

repeatedly. In a nutshell, even if the

students

Use synonyms

should identify the difference between good and bad

things

Use synonyms

, I disagree with heavy

punishment

Use synonyms

unless they are not able to follow good

things

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

might be warned if they make a mistake for the first time.

faisalmahamoodSun Feb 25 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your score, particularly in task achievement, ensure your essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the task. This includes discussing both the extent to which you agree or disagree with the necessity of punishment for learning right from wrong, and also elaborating on the types of punishment parents and teachers should use. Your essay slightly touches upon this but could delve deeper into specific examples and a broader range of punishments.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the logical flow of your essay. Using transitional phrases and clearly delineated paragraphs can help. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs could be better linked to these sections and to each other. Clearly outline your main points at the beginning and revisit them in your conclusion for greater impact.

task achievement

Incorporate more diverse and specific examples to support your points. While the essay mentions the example of Bangladesh, additional, varied examples could strengthen your argument. Also, directly tie these examples back to your main argument to make your case more compelling.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?
To begin, Adolescents spend time watching TV which is a great deal while TV cannot be changed by books for learning purposes for which children are being less educated. Both tools have something to teach so it is better to deal with them. I will discuss points of view in detail in the upcoming paragraphs.
8
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at University. He or she has asked for your advice about studying this subject write a letter to your friend in your letter? •give details of the course you took at the University •explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply
I am so glad to read your letter, It seems like ages since we last met and time indeed flies. That sounds great if you want to apply to my college, I will give you a piece of advice.
6.5
band
Write a letter to a friend to ask him/her to develop a website for your business. In your letter: Give a brief description of the business Mention what you’d like to be there on the website Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.
It has been ages since we last communicated . Hope you are doing well in your life.I am happy to tell you that I have started my own business which is a liquor store therefore I need your help and expertise in my business.
7
band
Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree
Nowadays the amount of people who believe that the price of a product or service is the most critical to consider when they buy them, this say disagree with this statement because it may lead to bad health and the quality of products.
7.5
band
In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?
It is generally accepted that internships have become more popular at present time among the young teen generation. There are some companies that provide a salary for students. In contrast, some places are not because they think both of them get different sides of advantage. This essay will demonstrate why intern kids should get paid throughout the following paragraphs.

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching T.V . However, TV cannot replace the book as a learning tool,which is why children are less well educated today,to what extent do you agree with this statement ?

Write a letter to a friend to ask him/her to develop a website for your business. In your letter: Give a brief description of the business Mention what you’d like to be there on the website Provide some ideas on the use of images on the website.

Some people consider prices as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree

In many countries students are engaged in some sort of paid work . Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibilities. What is your opinion?