IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people think that public health of a country can be improved if the government make laws regarding nutritious food but others think that it is the matter of personal choice and personal responsibility.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #country #government #laws #food #matter #choice #responsibility
It has been believed that strict rules and
regualtions
an authoritative rule
regulations
 of the nation to follow healthy diets can be a better way to upgrade the health status of people. Whilst, many other people think that it should be
base
Suggestion
based
 on an individual interest rather than
governement
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
governments
.
This
 essay
firstly
 takes a look at the both sides of
argument
Suggestion
the argument
an argument
 and reach a reasonable conclusion.
To begin
 with, processes of preparation of
food
 items can be controlled by proper investigation of government workers. Availability of a healthy
food
 in different restaurants can improve individual health status via several ways.
Moreover
, governmental agencies working for conservation of right and welfare of
public
Suggestion
the public
 should
regulary
in a regular manner
regularly
 scrutinize the market condition of
food
,
also
,
proper system
Suggestion
a proper system
 of punishment according to policy should be followed.
For instance
, many
organization
Suggestion
organizations
such
 as
food
 and diet monitoring agency need to assess the
food
 sectors.
Submitted by bt6683736 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: