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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's life.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Recently,the
development
Use synonyms
 of science has been a pressing matter globally.The main focus of innovations must be on a way to uplift the living standard of individuals.I concur with that statement, since I believe that new inventions are always made to make
life
Use synonyms
 easier than it already was. Nowadays,there has been a
development
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 in every sector of the world,be it in the field of transportation,health,education and many more.Every day , scientists are coming up with new advancements in small household objects , like mops , to the concept of spacecraft and rockets.And, all these inventions must contribute in a positive way to
people
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's
lives
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.New versions of gadgets are making our
lives
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 much more comfortable.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,they are easy to use.
For example
Linking Words
, desktops used to be the size of a room , and they used to consume a lot of electricity,but with the
development
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 of small,portable laptops,our
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 have become a lot more comfortable. Though during the process of making new things, more complicated situations may appear , which will
further
Linking Words
 produce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
objects that may be harmful to us.The vision and mindset must always be focused on bringing uniqueness and comfort in
life
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.The production of atom bombs, missiles must be discouraged as it will create a disaster and
also
Linking Words
 have a detrimental effect on
people
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's
lives
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.
For instance
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,during the First and Second World Wars,there was a lot of damage to the properties and
lives
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 of
people
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 , which was the negative effect of science and
development
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 on nature. In conclusion,
People
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 must have a growing and learning mindset , which will bring positive improvement in the world.They should be made aware that inventions are only made to make things easy , rather than to complicate
life
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.More emphasis must be given to improve every aspect of
life
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.

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task achievement
Make sure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and summarize it strongly in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'moreover', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your points.
task achievement
You successfully presented your main idea and supported it with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows good organization with clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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