One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Modern medical facilities and research in the healthcare sector have brought miracles to the world. We have cures for deadly diseases and researchers are working with our genes to prevent diseases even before we are born- marvellous indeed.
As a result
, people these days live longer.
This
as an alarming
trend according
Accept comma addition
trend, according
to some while I firmly believe that longer
life
expectancy
offers far many advantages than demerits. Many people opine that increasing
life
expectancy
increases the ratio of the older population and shrink the active workforce.
Thus they
Accept comma addition
Thus, they
believe supporting
the old
Suggestion
older
the older
generation is a burden for the country. But,
this
opinion is misguided and not backed by facts. With an increasing
life
expectancy
, people these days remain more active and contribute to society even in their old age. As the government has raised the retirement age,
old
Suggestion
older
people are no longer a burden, rather an active workforce. To cite an example, professors, researchers, lawmakers, writers and many other professionals have vast experience and could contribute even more in their respective fields in their later years.
Thus
, when a physicist discovers a groundbreaking theory in his or her 70s, we should thank the enhanced medical research and treatment.
Finally
, as the number of working parents is heightening, grandparents are the
last
hope for young children. Older people are doing us a favour by taking most of our family burdens.
Besides
, people who we consider no longer useful to the society due to their age, have gifted us the world we live in today with their hard work, tax money and love. To conclude, thanks to the enhanced medical facilities due to which we now live longer and be part of the progress.
This
enhanced
life
expectancy
is a blessing for the human race.
Submitted by moh.rizwan.80 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: