Some people think that arts (for example, music or painting) don't directly improve people's wellbeing, and therefore the goverment should spend money on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A few growing humans feel that music and painting cannot develop individual's wealth and for
this
Linking Words
agencies
Suggestion
agency
ought to expend
money
Use synonyms
on
another
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
valueable
having great material or monetary value especially for use or exchange
valuable
available
valuables
items.To some extent ‚
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
am agree
Suggestion
agree
have agreed
with the view because it is beneficial for people. There are plenty of advantages to spend income on other things.
Linking Words
Firstly it
Accept comma addition
Firstly, it
used to increase economic growth by spending
money
Use synonyms
on
important thing
Suggestion
important things
the important thing
like employment and public transport as well ‚
beacuse
for the reason that; on account of
because
these days people are jobless and population
are increasing
Suggestion
is increasing
day to day for
this
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
should provide sectors
to
Suggestion
for
them by creating new industries.
Linking Words
Furthermore they
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, they
layout
Suggestion
lay out
on farmers farming by giving them
low interest rates loan
Suggestion
a low interest rate loan
low interest rate loan
low interest rate loans
by which farmers can seeds their vegetables and crops. Agencies ought to provide farmers better fertilizers.
For instance
Linking Words
‚ survey of a well knowing newspaper shows that ‚ in United State
government
Use synonyms
reduces the interest rates for farmers and it gives preferable outcomes to them
.
Accept space
.
Hence
Linking Words
government
Use synonyms
expend
Suggestion
expends
money
Use synonyms
on other valuable things
On the other hand
Linking Words
‚ some believe that agencies must spend income on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
for
illustrate
Suggestion
illustrating
music or painting because it improves one's health and wealth
.
Accept space
.
It
Linking Words
also give
Suggestion
also gives
one more benefit of rose income by visitors because many
visit
Suggestion
visits
to see the real art of artists for that they pay out. It can
also
Linking Words
helpful for local
art craft
Accept comma addition
art, craft
people
.
Accept space
.
In conclusion‚
government
Use synonyms
must invest
money
Use synonyms
on other things due to fact that
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
lives
donot
Suggestion
do not
depend on
songs
Suggestion
the songs
or painting‚ they depend on food‚ shelter.
Submitted by naresh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wellbeing
  • therapeutic
  • stress reduction
  • social cohesion
  • cultural identity
  • critical thinking
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • minimal budget allocation
  • public spending priorities
  • long-term impacts
  • cultural heritage
  • diversity
  • understanding
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