IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #part #child’s #focus #academics #school #time
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy, is a thought proven over and over again. We all tend to focus more on academic than physical
education
, but it is agreed that as people age, they realise that physical well being is as important as their career or mental health. Modern medicine has increased the life expectancy, but
on the other hand
, people have started facing health problems earlier in their life, which is partially due to lack of physical activities. Focus on physical
education
 since schooling, can help a child understand the health benefits and bolster them to follow it on a regular basis. Concurrently, it would help them boost teamwork, improve hand eye coordination and compliment their overall personality. A recent study conducted by Columbia University, compared students participating in physical exercises to the ones who did not, results showed that the former had higher productivity and better grasping power as compared to the latter. Even though physical
education
 classes can benefit a lot of students, there are many students who abhor physical
education
 classes, for them it could be really ardent to keep up with it. Students with disabilities or lacking physical aptitude, could feel left out,
instead
 of being encouraged and could be an object of mockery in
such
 cases.
For example
, All have seen bullies in schools which make fun of the students for being too nerdy and physical
education
 classes being the hub of
such
 cases. In conclusion, physical
education
 classes should be treated as important as academics, but there should be an option to opt out, when someone is not able to cope up with it. We should always remember, every child is different, with different abilities which we should embrace and nurture.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: