Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Today, societies face a lot of options in their life

such

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as food we can eat or products we use. People think that it would be too much, but I disagree since many

choices

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help us to accommodate what we want and create

competition

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in the business.

Firstly

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, it will be easier for us to understand what we want if we have lots of options because we can compare one thing to another from the specifications.

For instance

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, when we order coffee on an online platform

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

before we choose what we will buy, we can make comparisons about the price and its quality. So, we can choose the one with the cheaper price but with the tastier flavour. The

choices

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give room for us to make good decisions from the resources we have like money. Undoubtedly it will benefit us.

Moreover

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choices

Use synonyms

about the products we use can create

competition

Use synonyms

among the business. Taking smartphones as an example, today, we can choose a smartphone from a wide range of prices and features. The

competition

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pushes the factory to create handphones with good specifications

such

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as cameras, RAM capacity, or models at affordable prices.

Consequently

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, we can take advantage of it. '

To sum up

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, many options in our life can create some benefits

such

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as a lot of businesses supply products with good quality

due to

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the

competition

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among them.

Furthermore

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, it will accommodate our demands and make a decision. These various

choices

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will be more beneficial for us in the future if we can practice as good decision-makers.

dyahkusumaningrum18Mon Jan 08 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To ensure a higher score in coherence and cohesion, it is essential to structure your essay with clear logical sequences and to make effective use of cohesive devices. For instance, using varied linking words and phrases can enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

In terms of task achievement, you should aim to provide a fully developed response that addresses all parts of the task. Make sure your main ideas are expanded with detailed and relevant examples. Furthermore, an effective way to do this is by referencing real-world scenarios and providing specific evidence to support your claims, which adds depth to your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overwhelmed
decision fatigue
paralysis by analysis
consumerism
globalization
personal autonomy
market saturation
option overload
decision-making process
psychological well-being
buyer's remorse
customization
trade-offs
minimalism
information superhighway

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