IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress related illnesses are increasing around the world. Why is stress such a problem in the modern world and what do you think can be done to overcome the problems caused by stress?

#life #parent’s #generation #stress #illnesses #world
Life
 has changed drastically over the course of a few decades. Due to fast paced
life
 competitive
life
, the
stress
 related illness like heart problems and obesity are on the constant rise. The essay discusses the reasons of
stress
 related health issues and proposes some solutions. Undoubtedly, technology has replaced manpower with machines. Over the course of the
last
 few decades the jobs have been constantly reducing and it is being replaced by the computers and artificial intelligence equipped robots.
For example
, the cashiers at the supermarket has been replaced by self-serve check outs.
As a result
, we are forced to work very hard to maintain our jobs and in the tough competitive environment.
Furthermore
, the increase in the prices of commodities is another reason of
stress
 and anxiety. To cater to the needs of
life
, we must work extra hours and around the clock.
As a result
, we are unable to maintain work
life
 balance and leaned towards eating ready-made foods
instead
 of healthy cooked meal at home. Recent research in the USA has proved that fast food is the major cause of obesity and
therefore
 should be avoided. Yoga has proved very beneficial in relaxing the body and mind and should be added to our daily routines.
Lastly
, socializing acts as a catalyst for instant gratification. We should take some time out on weekends to hang around with friends and family. To conclude, latest scientific advancements and day to day inflation has negatively affected people’s health. Eating healthy, physical activities and socializing can help to deter the ill effects caused by
stress
.
Submitted by adnankhalid976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: