IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people argue that arts, such as paintings and music, are a waste of money and the government should spend this money on other public services. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #arts #paintings #music #waste #money #government #services
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Some individuals opine that governments should spend
money
Use synonyms
 on public services rather than on arts like paintings and music, which are a waste of
money
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. I am in complete agreement with
this
Linking Words
 statement because the welfare and
development
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 of people should be the prime concern for the government.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Many countries reported shortage of funds to fulfil the needs for better welfare of people.
In other words
Linking Words
, these nations are not economically strengthened enough to meet the needs of the people and to provide better public services for their citizens.
Consequently
Linking Words
, spending the funds on the civic issues and betterment of public services is the noble way.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2011 North Korea spent a record share of their country's annual budget on the arts despite being on the bottom list in decent public service provider chart all over the world, inevitably
,
Accept space
,
causing an unrest among the people.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The other reason for my opinion is the lack of the meteoric rise in the
development
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, governments are not concentrating on modernization of the villages and small towns
such
Linking Words
 as improvements in infrastructure, roads, and transportation. Apparently, a better way of living for these people unfolds distinct opportunities for people, which might not be seen the light if not for the
development
Use synonyms
 of their area.
For example
Linking Words
, a report in The Guardian stated that, the UK has seen an astonishing rise of opportunities for their people when they spend their significant share of annual
money
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 on the
development
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 of their villages
instead
Linking Words
 on the arts. In conclusion, I completely agree that spending
money
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 on arts
such
Linking Words
 as paintings and music, are a waste of
money
Use synonyms
 and the government should use that for public services.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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