Public celebrations (such as national days, festivals etc) are held in most countries. These are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things. Do you agree or disagree?

Public celebrations, which are generally quite expensive, are held in almost all the countries. Some
people
propose that the
Government
should put
this
money
on the tasks which are far more essential. I totally agree with
this
approach as
this
can improve both the efforts
such
as
education
and
transportation
of the country.
To begin
with, the cogent reason why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should invest
money
in question in
education
instead
that it would become more affordable for
people
. When
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
bears the operational cost of academic institutions which includes building fees and staff salaries, they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not
require
Wrong verb form
required
show examples
to charge a hefty amount from parents.
As a result
, they usually feel encouraged to send their children
school
Fix the infinitive
to school
show examples
. To illustrate, the
Government
of Delhi
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
introduced
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
invitation campaign, which got 10 thousand admissions, to offer
education
to financially challenged
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
last
year.
Thus
, if governing bodies wish to invest a sum of
money
for a better purpose,
then
education
should be
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their priority. What is more, the
government
could use the
money
in question to provide a discount on the fare of local transport. Since, more often than not, the
government
encourages
people
to choose a public
transportation
system in order to save the environment, reduced ticket
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
would motivate them to prefer public transport for their daily travel.
For instance
, as per a recent survey, 5000
people
in Delhi opted to travel by the metro for their daily commute in the year 2019 as
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
slashed the fare.
Therefore
, since every
government
focuses on saving natural
ecosystem
Fix the agreement mistake
ecosystems
show examples
, they should pursue an investment in public
transportation
.
To conclude
, a decent sum of
money
being
Add a missing verb
is being
show examples
spent on national holiday celebrations,
however
,
this
money
can be spent by offering
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discounted
education
and
transportation
services.
This
essay discussed how
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can invest the same funds in the
education
and
transportation
system, and how these efforts can motivate
people
to make their children literate and help
safeguarding
Wrong verb form
safeguard
show examples
the natural ecosystem.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focus on the main topic and use logical sequence to present the ideas.
task achievement
Maintain the balance between supporting the main points and providing specific examples. Ensure that the response addresses the prompt in a clear and comprehensive manner.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fostering
  • national pride
  • unity
  • cultural heritage
  • sense of belonging
  • boost the local economy
  • hospitality and retail sectors
  • showcase
  • global audience
  • foreign relations
  • multifaceted
  • allocating
  • quality of life
  • social inclusion
  • cohesive and inclusive society
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