IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
It is a fundamental
right
 of a human being to make decisions about his life. Nowadays, our governments tend to interfere in our daily lives more than ever before. We are not even free to choose what we eat and drink. Since some people choose unhealthy foods, some individuals argue that
government
 should impose higher taxes on foods that are not good for
health
. I strongly believe that it is a fundamental
right
 of human beings to choose what they want to eat. It is a proven fact, that fast foods are one of the causes of cardiovascular diseases in many countries. The high amount of fats and carbohydrates increases the cholesterol level in the blood, which can lead to obesity, heart attack and high blood pressure. When it comes to the solution, some people would argue that, implementation of higher taxes on fast
food
 might solve the problem. What about the people who like fast
food
 and they have no disease at all? To protect some people, we cannot take away a privilege from a large group of people.
On the other hand
,
instead
 of imposing higher taxes on
food
,
government
 should provide more money to the
health
 care system, so people can be treated well. Having said that, it is
also
 a fundamental
right
 of a person to decide about his or her
health
. In today's world, there is enough awareness about the healthy and unhealthy foods. Some people want to enjoy their choice of
food
, even if they are sick, and it is their
right
.
Government
 should not implement higher taxes on people’s choices.
On the other hand
, we are not sure to what extent junk foods are the cause of multiple diseases. In the name of
health
 issue, the
government
 should not attack on people’s rights. In conclusion, fast
food
 is a cause of some diseases, but all the people who eat fatty foods are not sick. It is
also
 a
right
 of a person to choose what they want to eat. So,
government
 should not impose taxes on what people want to eat.
Submitted by rahmanzia2244 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: