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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work
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Nowadays people argue that the age of retirement should be moved
further
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 because the life span of an average human is expanding.
Although
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 there are plenty of merits and demerits, I completely agree with the statement and
this
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 essay will argue why it should be done. Longer life means a person can work for a long time and due to that he/she can contribute to his/her organization or institute more. If a person had worked for his company for a long time, he or she may have acquired good enough knowledge and experience. Because of that he or she can work much better than a fresher.
For example
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, a study conducted by the University of Alberta shows that a company which has more older people than others, has the highest rate of productivity. Similar to
this
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, if professors/teachers could have worked longer they may have improved our world better than we are today. Only experienced teachers can teach the students very efficiently because they have got adequate experience about how to teach and what to teach to students and their teaching skills have already improved. If these teachers or professors could teach new students with their own tactic, result of those students would improve significantly.
For example
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, a professor named Walter Lewin is the most knowledgeable person and he is 85 years old. He still teaches students online by utilizing YouTube. He uploads his lecture on YouTube so anyone can get benefit from it and those videos have so much potential that some toppers of university claims that they learned everything from his videos. In conclusion, If age of retirement will move
further
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 there are lots of advantages for our evolving world
this
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 can make human life even better. Despite some drawbacks
this
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 is still beneficial to humankind.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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