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some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to distinguish between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schools #students #subjects #right
Most
people
 believe educational institutions should just be concerned with academic issues,
while
 others think
schools
 should help students learn about moral principles. There are pros and cons to both thoughts. The first point of view is more traditional and it is the minimum that
schools
 must do. Nowadays, there is a lack of knowledge in basic matters
such
 as maths, languages, and science in several countries, especially among kids and teenagers. Some
people
 may argue that concentrating on these traditional subjects is the only way to get better results in education.
Moreover
,
this
 view understands that teaching how to distinguish between right and wrong things is not a role for
schools
, but for parents and families. The second group of
people
 think educators should teach a wide range of disciplines to empower children to think by themselves, distinguishing what is good and what is not. Actually, it is very important to develop skills behind academic knowledge, aim to create critical citizens and adults ready to action on solving real problems and not only prepared to do their jobs like robots. In conclusion, there are a group of
people
 who think education should only teach the basic subjects
whereas
 another group believe that education should show the difference between wrong and right things
according to
 several points of view. I support the second proposition. Certainly, it is a primary issue for parents and families,
however
,
schools
 have a complementary responsibility to bring new ideas and form adults who are able to reflect on themselves and know the rules of conduct.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have provided a general discussion of both viewpoints and your own opinion, but to enhance your score, include more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will help make your ideas more comprehensive and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on creating a more logical flow of ideas throughout your essay. While your essay has a clear structure, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, you can improve the logical progression of your ideas by adding more clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and using a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider expanding your supporting points with specific examples and evidence. This will not only validate your arguments but also engage your reader more effectively. You can also enhance your overall coherence by revisiting your conclusion to ensure it succinctly summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance in a compelling way.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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