IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience.

#believe #people #work #age #retirement
In recent years, With improvement in the healthcare system and the people’s standard of living, people are able to live longer and contribute to the nation’s economy by working for long years. Few people believe
this
 is a positive development, while others are of opposite view.
However
, I support to
work
 for long years as long as the
person
 is fit and healthy for the
work
. On the one hand, delaying
retirement
 allows a
person
 to actively contribute to the society. On an Individual level,
this
 not only helps to remain physically fit but
also
 mentally strong and active.
Moreover
,
this
 helps a
person
 to become financially independent even after the
retirement
 and leads to a better life.
Besides
this
, some countries
such
 as Singapore, promotes and allows elderly to
work
 on their suitable task according to their health level and capabilities,
such
 add up to the nation’s economy positively.
On the other hand
, Due to
age
, sometimes working beyond the limit affects the health adversely.
In addition
, even though there are major benefits of mental health of working after
retirement
age
, but number of time it leads to
stress
 and elderly people are mostly not capable to handle the
stress
 well.
For instance
, suicidal cases have been recently increased in Japan for
work
stress
 in old people.
Besides
this
, the negative physical aspects of older people may affect the productivity badly, which affects the company and government. To put
this
 in a nutshell, I pen down, saying that,
although
 there are several negative aspects including productivity and
stress
 amongst elderly who
work
 after
retirement
age
, if a
person
 is capable for the task he or she can
work
 at any
age
 and become happy and healthy.
Submitted by Nirbhay on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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