Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Lot
Suggestion
A lot
of employees are reported to spend so much
time
at work,
thus
, not making it possible for them to have enough
time
to socialize and have needed
rest
Suggestion
the rest
. In my opinion,
this
trend has more demerits than merits, and
this
essay will discuss the reasons for my view.
Although
, part of the merits of spending more
time
at work
is
Suggestion
are
that it leads to more productive
time
, and
this
will impact positively on the economy of the country.
However
, the demerits that come with working long hours can not be overlooked. One of
such
demerits is
fatigue
Suggestion
fatigued
as a result
of being overworked.
This
poses
danger
Suggestion
a danger
to the safety of the workers as they mostly have to drive home tired. According to the Nigerian National Bureau of Statistics (NNBS), the rates of accidents in Lagos increased by 60% in 2019, and
this
showed a high correlation with late working, as almost 80% of the accidents occurred at night.
Furthermore
, another downside of working for long hours is the unavailability of workers to their family members. Spending so much
time
at work means workers get home late and leave very early in the morning,
some times
on certain occasions or in certain cases but not always
sometimes
before their children wake up from bed.
This
has led to the absence of adequate guidance for children, and most of the children have resulted
to
Suggestion
in
being a thorn
on
Suggestion
in
the flesh of the society as they
haven’t been probably
Suggestion
probably haven’t been
brought up.
For example
, the crime rates among teenagers in
South Western region
Suggestion
the South Western region
of Nigeria is greater than those of other five
geo-political
of or relating to geopolitics
geopolitical
regions.
This
, the NBBS said, is as
result
Suggestion
a result
of negligence by their parents. In conclusion, the demerits
such
as fatigue that contribute to the increase in late night accidents, and unavailability of parents to guide their children are more detrimental than whatever merits that come with working long hours. So, I reiterate that, the trend of working long hours
have
Suggestion
has
more demerits than merits.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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