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Writing Samples
Band 7

Traditional medicine is more benefits than modern medicine

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Nowadays, many employees are suffering from occupational diseases because they
work
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 overtime and
thus
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, have less time for exercising. Personally, I would like a balanced lifestyle to keep healthy. Due to the increasing cost of living, many individuals have to
work
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 longer or do jobs in several different industries to make a living, which will occupy most of their time and make them feel exhausted. As a consequence, they may only want to relax and do nothing after
work
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. In the long run, these workers may have some health problems, either mental or physical,
such
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 as stomach pain, cramps, and cervical spondylosis, even worse, they may have depression. The growing expenditure has indeed caused more pressures and issues in our lives. Given these health-related issues, we have to pay more attention to our perks.
Although
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 it may be difficult for someone who is exhausted after
work
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 to go for exercise, we can start with some gentle movement like to stand up for one minute after sitting in front of the computer for forty-five minutes.
This
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 activity can increase the circulation of your blood, making you refreshed.
Besides
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, we can release our pressure by singing a song or slowing down the task. At home, we can move our legs up and down when lying on the bed or to intimate the movement of riding a bike. These moderate physical movements will ultimately improve our health. In conclusion, busier as we are getting, we can still try to find some methods for exercise and a balanced life. Only by doing so, can we maintain our well-being and happiness.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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