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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that single-sex schools are better than mixed schools. Others believe that mixed-sex schools are the only way for children to learn. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#people #schools #mixed-sex #children
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In the current era, many parents would like their
children
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 to be in schools where there are both
girls
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 and boys.
While
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, in the contrast is true for other families that agree with schools that are only female or male. I will explain both views in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, a vast number of people prefer to send their
children
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 to educational centres that are teaching only
girls
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 or boys,
in other words
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, there is a gender separate. They believe that in these technological days,
children
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 have access to every electronic device and they will be able to find everything, especially from social media and it is very important to moral issues and social problems.
Also
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, it could be argued that street crime is increasing nowadays.
for example
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 , parents are worried about their
children
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, mainly
girls
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, learning things like smoking cigarettes, consuming drugs, and doing against the rules .
On the other hand
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, a large number of families are interested in sending to Institutes that are mixed-sex. the first thing they mention is that in
this
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 situation Juveniles learn relationships with the opposite sex.
As a result
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, not only are they taught the way to behave in society, but
also
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 they notice how to dress in different positions.
For instance
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, when they graduate and would like to start work in a workplace, they are familiar with genders and not face some problems.
Secondly
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, they surely prepare for future life and get some experiences that are fairly crucial.
Finally
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, being in these places plays a vital role in the personality.
Also
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, there are many centres with both
girls
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 and boys, like English institutes, art galleries, etc. In conclusion,
although
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 mixed-sex has several drawbacks, I personally agree with schools like that, in order to
children
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 gain very different experience. getting self-confidence and being in contact with strangers in the world are two decisive factors which everyone should consider.
Submitted by s_karimi2002 on

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task achievement
To improve, consider elaborating more on the points made and offering stronger examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining sentence structure and ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to create a more seamless reading experience.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and sentence punctuation to increase the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Try to balance your paragraphs in terms of length and ensure each one has a clear central idea that is well-developed.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and concise, providing a good overview of the essay's main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The points raised are relevant to the topic and offer a good base for discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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