Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is sometimes argued that we pay many thousands of movie stars and famous sports players massive
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
of money, especially in today’s
entertainment focused
Add a hyphen
entertainment-focused
show examples
world. In my opinion, it is so wrong to waste our money on those professions and I will explain why in
this
Linking Words
essay.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
and foremost vital argument is that celebs are apparently less important than teachers, nurses and other social care workers. These professionals do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
that
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a direct impact on our daily lives.
For example
Linking Words
, when a person is injured from a road accident, he/she will definitely need the help of a doctor in lieu of a song to listen to or a movie to watch. A second illustration can be seen in the case of criminal activities like bank robbers or terrorism. In those emergent circumstances, the police force is all
what
Change the word
that
show examples
we are in urgent need of in order to safeguard innocent citizens as opposed to singers or film superstars. Another dispute against the idea of extremely well-paid celebrities is that some of those public figures sometimes are poor role models for our younger generations. By
this
Linking Words
, I mean that
such
Linking Words
big names often waste their money on extravagant lifestyles,
for instance
Linking Words
, buying luxury cars or shopping for deluxe handbags on a weekly basis. Some of them even spread
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
negative idea that success can be achieved without finishing school.
As a result
Linking Words
of
this
Linking Words
, many children
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ours
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might eventually
get dropped
Wrong verb form
drop
show examples
out of school and become a burden to society in the long term. Again, we can see that famous people should not be overpaid in terms of creating equality in the general public and ensuring its proper function in the long run. In conclusion, it appears to me that it is totally absurd to pay enormous salaries
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
personalities whose jobs do not improve our quality of life on a daily basis.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Connect ideas with appropriate linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task question and provide specific examples to support your ideas. Consider offering a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging potential counterarguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lucrative
  • revenue
  • sponsorships
  • merchandise
  • career longevity
  • market demand
  • economic contribution
  • role models
  • influence
  • entertainment industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: