Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals?Is it a positive or a negative trend?

#competitiveness #quality #people #societies #individuals #trend

The world in which we are living has many inventions and the modern society is the cumulative contributions of many great individuals. One of the reasons for the progress of the modern world is the competitive nature human has with others. In my

opinion without

Accept comma addition

opinion, without

competition

speed of nation building will be slow.

Although

Suggestion

Despite

the competitive environment is the need of

modern era

Suggestion

the modern era

, it is jeopardising the personal

life

of individuals in many cases. Healthy

competition

is present in every walk of

life

. It is our inherent nature. Toddlers who have never been taught to compete would do it naturally to possess some toys with other toddlers. School going children study hard to win the top positions in the class,

this

behaviour improves their learning capability. People love to enjoy

sports but

Accept comma addition

sports, but

improvement in skill is there when your opponent is more competent. Engineers build roads and Malls up to utmost

capabilities but

Accept comma addition

capabilities, but

the buyers always seek a company with the lowest cost and modern and unique architecture. Consumers want to buy quality products but at lowest rates.

On the other hand

, a competitive behaviour of the society has paralysed the social

life

of individuals. People pay more attention to their future than the

life

they are leading. Youth is sacrificing their enjoyment for the sake of career. I suggest the mixture of two extremes is a very balanced option. I believe balanced

life

in all

discipline

Suggestion

disciplines

life

can bring happiness in the societies. Individuals should work hard to achieve their

goal but

Accept comma addition

goal, but

not at the cost of their sleep, health and family

life

. In short, there are

cones

an argument opposed to a proposal

cons

and pros to

competition

Suggestion

compete

with other individuals. We should compete with individuals, professionals,

nation

Suggestion

nationally

and keep in mind that humans need love, attention and rest. I believe that positive

competition

should be encouraged while negative one should be discarded from our

life

Submitted by gakumarig on Mon Jan 20 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Competitiveness is a positive quality for people in most societies. How does competitiveness affect individuals?Is it a positive or a negative trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that government should give high salary to the celebrities but others think that it should be provided to doctors and teachers discuss both views and give ur views

Historical objects and artefacts should be brought back to their country of origin. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments spend a large amount of money every year on works of art. ( for example, pain things & sculptures ) Do you think this is a good or bad use of public money ?

Many old buildings are protected by law because they are part of nation's history. However, some people think old buildings should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is t to maintain old buildings