IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As well as making money, the business should also have social responsibilities. Do you agree or disagree?

#money #business #responsibilities
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Businessmen should take societal obligations along with profit-making. I would
also
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 put forth my support to both equally. At the outset, taking benefits out of their organisation is mandatory for any businessman.
Firstly
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, it requires a huge amount of investments to set up an industry.
For instance
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, a recently built cement plant has cost its investors hear about $100000 in my local areas.
Secondly
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, operation and maintenance cost can put a toll on their pocket's. Take an example of electricity bills, rents, staff wages, for which it is imperative to making money from the factory.
Lastly
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, huge taxes are imposed on the
business
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 industry that they are bound to pay.
Therefore
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, given these reasons, moneymaking becomes an important target for any
business
Use synonyms
 person.
On the other hand
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,
besides
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 financial success, it is
also
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 a responsibility of any
business
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-owner to make efforts to the upliftment of society. As an established industry tends to use local resources of any particular area, so there is a need to do something in exchange for the betterment of that place. To cite another example from my own experience, a lot of employment opportunities are generated, especially for residents, by the establishment of an oil refinery by a foreign company. At the same time, on the recent environment day, they donated various books to local children.
Moreover
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, several environmental problems could be stemmed from any industrial development. Imagine a new factory could lead to an increase in air, water and noise pollution which would impact society.
Thus
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, it is their responsibility not only to use
business
Use synonyms
 practises that lead to less pollution, but
also
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 to donate money from their profit to plant the sapling, filter the water and many more. ITC, a
papermaking
Suggestion
 company, is a good example, which donates 5% of the total_profits for society. In conclusion, while financial gains are considered as a sole purpose for any
business
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, from my viewpoint, social
upliftment
Suggestion
 needs to be under the responsibility of
business
Use synonyms
 persons.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social responsibilities
  • contribute
  • well-being
  • community
  • philanthropy
  • sustainability
  • ethical
  • trust
  • reputation
  • accountable
  • profit-making
  • balance
What to do next:
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