Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Most
students
cannot apply for jobs in their own profession after graduating from university. In my opinion, the root of
this
problem caused by the higher
education
system does not have some practical experience. Modernization of
this
should be a good solution. Traditional university
education
does not prepare
students
for their first job for a number of reasons. One of them is that many programs are too theoretical. It means that highly educated graduates lack the simple skills required for employment.
For example
, in the IT
sphere
Add a comma
sphere,
show examples
employers prefer candidates with hands-on experience as a junior worker. Another reason is that
universities
offer too many courses in popular fields of study,
such
as business and law, and do not recruit enough
students
for engineering and science programmes.
For instance
, the UK labour market has an oversupply of law graduates and a deficit of engineers. A reform of higher
education
could prevent many of the problems.
Moreover
, it will have good effects if
universities
and the government decide to work together. When
universities
worked closer with employers, they could teach
students
practical skills that companies look for. Meanwhile, the government could develop guidelines on how many
students
universities
should recruit in each subject in accordance with the market demand.
For example
, recent research concluded that demand and supply for engineers and IT workers will increase by 50 % next 10 years. In conclusion, most graduate
students
cannot apply to junior positions in their own profession caused by many reasons. The higher
education
programmes are too theoretical and the number of
students
, who graduate from a humanitarian profession is more than technical graduates. The
universities
and the government could improve the situation by updating the content of programmes and managing the number of
students
in each subject in order with the market demand.
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task achievement
Provide more concrete examples to support your points. For instance, give more specific cases or statistical data where possible to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that this idea is expanded and supported well throughout the paragraph.
task achievement
You have a clear introduction and conclusion which frame your essay well.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, making it easier to follow your arguments.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graduate job placement
  • current job market trends
  • practical experience
  • job openings
  • employment prospects
  • geographical barriers
  • automation and technological advances
  • economic conditions
  • mismatch between education and job market demands
  • over-saturation
  • theoretical knowledge
  • competitive job market
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