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Band 7.5

In some countries, children under 16 years old are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time work . Is this a good or bad thing ? Discuss your opinion.

#countries #children #years #school #law #work
Teenagers are prohibited by law from leaving school and taking full-time employment in many parts of the world. Having a legislation that bans
child
 labour is not only desirable but necessary because it protects children’s right in education, prevents their
exploitation
 in dangerous industries, and guarantees their physical and emotional welfare.
Firstly
, it is undeniable that full-time employment interferes with juvenile education. Students who
work
 for long hours do not have enough time to focus on their studies which lead to academic failure.
Consequently
, their prospect to have a career and financial security will be ruined.
Moreover
, Research has shown that children who
work
 full-time jobs are more likely to be illiterate and live in poverty as adults.
Therefore
, laws that restrict youngsters labour are key factors in eradicating illiteracy and poverty.
Furthermore
,
child
 labour law prevents
exploitation
 of youngsters in hazardous industries. Disadvantaged children in poor countries are routinely forced to
work
 in farms, mines and textile industries for meagre wages. Most of the time they
work
 in dangerous condition for long hours.
For instance
, children as young as 4 years are forced to
work
 in the cobalt mines in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Cobalt is used to manufacture lithium ion batteries for portable devices
such
 as smartphones, tablets, laptops, and electric cars. Many of those children were injured or died while working in cobalt mines. Recently, major technology corporations
such
 as Apple, Microsoft, and Tesla were sued and accused of driving
child
exploitation
 in cobalt mines. To conclude, I believe that having a law that prevents
child
 employment before age 16 is desirable because it protect children against
exploitation
, and ensure their right in education and a bright future.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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