Many people use distance learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or universities. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

In the modern world, it is possible to study at home, thanks to advanced technologies.
Accordingly
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, many
people
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are willing to study online because of its convenience and availability.
However
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, others feel that face-to-face conversation is essential for some
profession
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professions
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,
such
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as acting, drawing and architecture. After pondering
this
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phenomenon, I believe that online education is comprehensive for only a limited number of professions
,
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;
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it can be
utilized
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utilised
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for extra
trainings
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training
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. Nowadays, it is true that the
paper based
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paper-based
show examples
study is An old method. In
this
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regard, modern
people
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are keen to replace it with internet resources, as it will be affordable for many citizens.
In other words
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, they should not pay a huge amount of money for their universities and colleges.
Furthermore
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, online learning is comfortable for the housewives, as they will
get
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gain
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a
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apply
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knowledge, if the authorities provide them with
such
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kinds of opportunities.
For instance
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, many housewives have duties at home, and
this
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is the main reason why they
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do have
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have not
Correct word order
not have
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a diploma or certificate.
On the other hand
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,
it is clear that
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some citizens are keen to think that online education cannot replace the old method of teaching, as these changes can negatively influence
on
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apply
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their interpersonal skills,
such
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as communication and cooperation with their peers. In
this
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regard, face-to-face communication and leadership
is
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are
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crucial for the students, if they are willing to become well-qualified employees in the future.
Moreover
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,
such
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kinds of teaching methods can isolate
the
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apply
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individuals from
the
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apply
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society.
That is
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to say, they can become an
introvert
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introverted
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type of person
,
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apply
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if they do not communicate with other
people
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, and
this
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can create many problems for themselves,
such
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as
lack
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a lack
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of confidence.
Consequently
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,
this
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can damage
to
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apply
show examples
their career opportunities. In conclusion,
although
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many
people
Use synonyms
reckon to think that online teaching is beneficial for the citizens, others feel that it cannot be useful for using some kinds of professions. In
this
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regard, I believe that students should be taught at universities and other academic institutions, as nowadays, distance learning cannot replace the old methods.

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task response
State your view in the intro and keep it clear in the conclusion.
coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas go together.
content
Give stronger examples and explain them for each point.
content
Clear stance on online learning vs old methods.
structure
Some idea of cost and access is included.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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