Some people think that qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at universities or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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day and age, many

people

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believe that

people

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's worth has changed a lot, from the traditional

value

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to the socio-economic condition. The essay extremely agrees with

this

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notion

due to

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modernization

along with

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the mass communication influence and negative effect on human awareness. One of the primary reasons is nowadays

while

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the world's industrialization develops day by day,

people

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usually use material

value

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to subjectively assess others. To explain it

further

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, even though some

people

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still live with the truth

value

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, many others not only want to catch and show off their success and social position, but they

also

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use their aspects to judge

people

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As a result

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, more and more

people

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depend on these factors to prize each other.

For instance

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, many celebrities nowadays just focus on their appearance and fame in order to not sink into showbiz

instead

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of developing and nourishing the soul

Furthermore

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, since living in the technological era,

people

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are influenced by social media's aspects

such

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as wealth or fame is the most important.

In other words

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, mass communications often draw a perfect life as if humans live successfully and have a high position in wealthy conditions, which means they will catch the meaning of life, will live happily, and gain respect. From that, being stressed about vanity,

people

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think if they want to have respect and recognition from society, they have to gain all of these. In conclusion, because of the bad effects of social status and material possessions which caused to chasing of vanity and the influence of social media,

people

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have to balance their worth between morality and material

value

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bsphongplgSun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction could be more explicit in addressing the precise topic of whether qualities for success in today's world can or cannot be learned at universities. Being clearer about the essay's main point will help set the stage more effectively.

task achievement

Strengthen the support for your main points by providing more specific examples and explanations. For instance, when discussing the influence of social media, you could mention how particular trends or influencers set unrealistic standards.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to ensure clarity. Some sentences are convoluted and could be broken down or rephrased for better understanding.

task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the question, touching on significant factors like materialism and the influence of social media.

coherence cohesion

There is a clear attempt to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively highlighted modern challenges, such as chasing vanity and how people assess worth based on material possessions, wrapping them into your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people think that qualities a person needs to become successful in today's world cannot be learned at universities or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

In many developing nation, the rush to become industrialized has created major problems with air and water quality. What are the problems that this has brought about and offer some solutions to these problems?

In some countries young people are encourages to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think certain old buildings are worth preserving more than the other ones.Which types of old buildings should be preserved？Do you think the advantages of preserving old buildings outweigh the disadvantages？

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.