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Writing Samples
Band 7

A country becomes more interesting and develops more quickly when its population includes a mixture of nationalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #population #mixture #nationalities
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Cosmopolitan societies are thought to be more attractive to international tourists due to their diversified cultural aspects and often considered to have a strong economy which develops faster.
However
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, as far as I am concerned, a mixture of nationalities in many countries is still problematic. Admittedly, a culturally and ethnically diverse
country
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 attracts tourists from all over the world as the amalgamation of different cultures and their tradition, food and lifestyle give birth to a truly cosmopolitan society.
As a result
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 of tourism development, the local economy grows to a certain extent.
However
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, countries that include population from different nationalities and cultures often experience social issues which lead to civil and political unrest and hatred for each other. People from different backgrounds view thing differently and have their own opinion towards values. If not dealt with an appropriate means, it may cause ethnic conflicts. Even worse, in some countries, it divides the nation as citizens start possessing discriminatory attitudes towards minors. If
such
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 a situation prevails, the
country
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 will soon lose international tourists who might be the main driving force for their economic boost.
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, the heterogeneous population in a
country
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 bring their own culture and
thus
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 the
country
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lose
Suggestion
loses
 its heritage and century-long tradition in the process.
As a result
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, the
country
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 can no longer proclaim itself as a unique cultural landscape.
For instance
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, many large cities in the world these days look almost the same and have no distinctive cultural identity. To conclude, multi-cultural societies are prone to create many social problems and the government should give priority to solve
such
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 issues whenever they emerge so that it does not lead to social unrest and ambivalence situations.
Submitted by mathewt28 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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