Some people believe that all lawbreakers to put in to prison others think that is a good alternative.

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Nowadays, It is argued by some people that any criminal has to be sent to
jail
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when he or she commits a crime
while
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others believe that different measures should be used. In
this
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essay, I will look into both views and give my own opinion on the matter in detail. On the one hand, people in favour of sending offenders to prison have valid reasons for that.
Firstly
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, it might be said that
jail
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is a special facility that urges
criminals
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to understand and feel the results of their wrong actions.
In other words
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, restrictions, limitations and strict rules demotivate lawbreakers to re-offend.
For example
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one of my relatives who served time behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bars does not want to go back there. After
release
Add a comma
release,
show examples
he chose life without a crime.
Secondly
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, modern jails have training programs aimed at training inmates to acquire professions.
That is
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to say, they have a good opportunity to learn about jobs that will change their aims and outlook
while
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doing time behind bars. Take Japan as an example, in there,
according to
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statistics 60 per cent of inmates who have a good profession and diploma never commit a crime again.
On the other hand
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, there is an argument that
criminals
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can be rehabilitated through other methods than sending them to
jail
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.
In other words
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,
instead
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of sentencing
criminals
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to time in prison, we should attract them to other useful works.
As a result
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, they work beneficially for society and feel important and useful to the general public.
This
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kind of feeling urges people never to re-offend when they are released. In conclusion,
although
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it is a common belief that
jail
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is the best way to punish
criminals
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, I believe it is not necessary in a majority of cases. Personally, I think prison should be the
last
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option when all else has failed.

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Task Achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents both views and the writer's opinion more succinctly. Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas by using more cohesive devices and making clear connections between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Well-developed arguments with relevant examples to support points made.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good overall structure with clear introduction and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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