IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree that the problems outweigh the benefits of the mobile phones?

#phones #forms
Presently, the popularity of mobile phones has brought about innumerable convenience, but at the meanwhile variety of problems,
such
 as social, medical and technical problems.
However
, I do not believe these disadvantages will outweigh the advantages brought by cell phones. In
this
 essay, I would like to analyse these three issues in order to support my viewpoint.
First
 of all, almost everything that changed our life style
also
 cause some controversial social issues and mobile phones are not out of expectation. Speaking emphatically on the phone in public areas
such
 as school appears to be very disrespectful and insulting. What is worse, some students utilize their cell phones as an effective cheating device in examinations.
Nevertheless
, it is not impossible to solve these problems, as long as some regulations and rules can be effectively implemented. In fact, It is worth mentioning that some harmful effects on our health are lethal. According to many, it has been proved that overusing of the electronic devices, including mobile phones could lead to higher possibilities of suffering hearing loss and even cancers,
although
 the
further
 investigation is required.
In addition
, another debatable problem is about techniques. As a matter of fact, there is panic among the people that their conversation can be intercepted by the
third
 party.
Consequently
, a more efficient and reliable system may be invented to guarantee the private information of users.
Moreover
, the mobile phone has become a dispensable tool in people’s daily life. Not only used for communication, but it
also
 functions as an Internet browser and so forth. In conclusion, nothing can be overused without side effects. The contribution of the mobile phone to our modern society is prominent and people’s dependence on it is irreversible, even though it has a number of problems that should be well handled.
Submitted by thejudgementday999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: