In some countries, people's weight has significantly increased, while their levels of health have decreased. What do you think may be the causes of this problem,and what solutions can you suggest to solve them?

Obesity has become a common health disease among folk all over the world. There are several factors that contribute to
this
disease and I will discuss those in
this
writing,
along with
remedies to curb
this
issue. To commence with the first cause is an unhealthy diet.
People
especially children like to eat fast food like pizza, burgers etcetera compared to fresh fruits and vegetables.
Consequently
,
this
meal goes into the stomach and builds unwanted fat in it, which later makes
people
obese.
In addition
, the reason behind eating
such
food is not only the good taste but
also
the hectic schedule. Nowadays,
people
are very busy in their jobs, they have less time for cooking. In spite of making food at home, they prefer to order it from restaurants.
Besides
this
,
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle is another root cause of
this
disease.
People
spend most of their time sitting on a chair or lying on a bed. They do lack exercise which
further
affects their fitness level. Moving
further
towards the steps to solve
this
issue, first of all, a person should make a healthy diet plan and check his intake on a regular basis.
Besides
, intermediate fasting is a very effective method for losing weight.
Moreover
, he should exercise daily for at least half an hour. If he/ she does not have enough time for physical exercises, they can go to work on a bicycle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and use stairs
instead
of elevators. By making little effort, they will not only control their weight but
also
save themselves from other diseases
such
as heart attack.
To conclude
, health is wealth.
people
should focus on maintaining a healthy lifestyle by eating nutritious meals and doing physical exercises.
Submitted by lovekirandeepk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Expansion
To elevate your essay, try expanding on your examples with more specificity and detail. This will enrich your argument and provide clearer insight into the issues and solutions discussed.
Language Use
Consider varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the readability and engagement of your essay. This can also help to more effectively highlight your main points and arguments.
Introduction
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of causes and solutions, guiding the reader smoothly into the essay.
Structure
You've done a commendable job of structuring your essay, with clear paragraphs for causes and solutions, which aids in the logical flow of ideas.
Content
Including practical solutions such as diet planning and regular exercise demonstrates a thoughtful approach to addressing the problem, which is a strong aspect of your task response.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • malnutrition
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • processed foods
  • nutritional value
  • caloric intake
  • physical inactivity
  • metabolic disorders
  • public health policies
  • holistic wellness
  • sustainable eating habits
  • urban planning
  • dietary guidelines
  • exercise regimen
  • preventive measures
What to do next:
Look at other essays: