IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #team #sports #children #work #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
JUVENILES ARE DELICATE AND
THUS
 WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR BREEDING PROCESS SERIOUSLY. THERE ARE CERTAIN FOLKS WHO ARGUE THAT THE GROUP SPORTS ARE THE BEST FOR JUVENILES. WHEREAS, REST OF THE FOLKS HAVE AN OBJECTION ON
THIS
 AND SAY THAT PLYAING SOLO SPORTS MAKE AN OFFSPRING A BETTER PERSON.
FIRSTLY
,
THIS
 ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE SEVERAL REASON OF WHY CERTAIN PEOPLE
SUPPORT
 THE GROUP SPORTS AND WHY OTHERS HAVE AN OBJECTION TO IT.
LASTLY
, STATE THE OPINION INN THW FAVOR OF BOTH VIEWS. ON THE ONE SIDE, THE MAJOR REASON IS TO
SUPPORT
 THE GROUP ACTIVITIES FOR JUVENILES IS THAT IT WILL MAKE THEM LEARN HOW TO COMPROMISE AND
SUPPORT
 EACHOTHERS IN THE DIFFICULT SITUATION.
AS A RESULT
, THEY WOULD GET A HUGE SUCCESS IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIFE AS GOOD EMPLOYEE. BECAUSE, THE EXCCELLENCY IN THE TEAM WORK IS THE BEST QUALITY OF THE BEST WORKER.
FOR EXAMPLE
, ACCORDING TO THE INDIAN CHILD CARE DEPARTMENT REPORT, 70% OF THE INDIAN YOUTH ARE PROVVED TO BE GOOD WORKER CONSEQUNETLY, THEY HAVE THE EXPERIENCE OF WORKING WELL IN TEAM.
ON THE OTHER HAND
, INDIVIDUAL SPROTS TEACH OFFSPRING HOW TO BE AN INDEPENDENT AND A STRONG PERSON. WHEN THEY PLAY A SOLO GAME THEIR MIND IS MORE ACTIVATE IN COMPARED TO GROUP WORK.
THIS
 WILL MAKE HIM TO USE HIS OWN CRITICAL THINKING POWER TAKE THE RIGHT DECISION AND AS IT IS HIS SOLITARY HARD WORK, HE WOULSD BE HAPPY AND INSPIRED TO DO TRY VARIOUS ADVENTURES
FURTHER
 IN LIFE.
FOR INSTANCE
, THE NEUROLOGY DEPARTMENT OF THE UK STUDY SHOWN THAT THE ADOLESCENSE WHO PLAYS A SINGLE GAME, HAVE THE 80% INTELLEGENCE THAN WHO PLAY TEAM GAME. FROM MY POINT OF VIEW, I BELIEVE THAT WHATEVER THE SPORTS ARE. IT WOULD BE ADVANTAGEOUS TO PLAY AS BOTH TEACH AN ESSENTIAL TIPS TO AN OFFSPRING OF HOW TO SURVIVE IN
THIS
 FAST PACE WORLD AS SUCCESFULL PERSON. IN CONCLUSION, GROUP AND SOLO GAMES INDEED PROVIDE A KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERIENCE OF A PLETHORA OF THING TO THE KIDS THAT THEY COULD USE THEM IN THEIR FIRTHER LIFE TO GET THE VICTORY.
HOWEVER
,
THIS
 WOULD ONLY BE POSSIBLE WITH THE
SUPPORT
 OF PARENTS AND THEOR MENTOR WHO ARE THE MOST VALUABLE PEOPLE IN KIDS LIVELIHOOD.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: