IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

While it is sometimes thought that prison is the best place for criminals, others believe that there are better ways to deal with them. What is your opinion?

#prison #place #criminals
Some critics judge that criminals should have been sentenced, whereas others contradicts
this
 idea and insist that there are many other beneficial approaches to reform them. In my opinion, I believe offenders can have positive contributions to the public if they are not only puts behind bars and willing to transform themselves. When it comes to
prison
, many taxpayers argue that paying the bills for criminal's accommodation is an illogical thing as offenders commit heinous crimes, but still receive benefits from the public.
Therefore
, doing
community
 service is the best choice for criminals since they are available to pay back to the
community
. Doing so, simultaneously, can
also
 make up
society
's needs,
such
 as lack of labourers to work unskilled jobs. There is no doubt that it is a cost effective punishment and a cheaper alternative to
prison
. For some offenders who have been sentenced to long term in
prison
, they will find it a challenge to integrate into the
society
, along with finding employment after released.
This
 is because of their criminal records, which is founded upon in
society
.
However
, doing
community
 service can give them a new chance to reform, change their impression on
society
 and
also
 prevent them from re-offending again on the condition that they are willing to change their behaviour. What is more, if ex-convicts continue to utilize their personal skills during their sentence, it will help them.
As a result
,
prison
 is not the only method to retribution offenders. In conclusion,
although
 some supporters of the
prison
 believe that it is the only way to punish criminals, I agree with others that being effective to use ex-convict's skills to do
community
 service is the best option for the public.
Submitted by becky12259376 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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