In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
We are observing
the young
Suggestion
younger
the younger
generation
who have made
plenty of changes in every aspect of Suggestion
has made
life
. Some are inventive and meaningful but
some are not really accepted by their Accept comma addition
meaningful, but
predecessor especially
about their eating instincts and lifestyles. In my opinion, I prefer to not decide if these changes really do harm to their Suggestion
predecessor, especially
health
and stay neutral because I see both of advantages
and drawbacks of Suggestion
the advantages
this
issue.
On the one hand, in many developed countries, the young especially
Accept comma addition
young, especially
teenagers are
consuming too much fast foods that contain Accept comma addition
teenagers, are
vast amount
of sugar, additives, chemical Suggestion
vast amounts
a vast amount
colors
but low nutrients unit of heat defined as the quantity of heat required to raise the temperature of 1 gram of water by 1 degree centigrade at atmospheric pressure
calories
instead
of vegetables and proteins which is conventionally prepared. This
has led to the rising number of people having obesity and diabetes. And I won't deny that it is clear there are a deterioration in health
of nowadays Suggestion
the health
generation
. Also
, some kids are likely to stay indoors more than their former generation
and stick to video games and computers. Furthermore
, staying up late at night and waking up late are
the common habits of today's teenagers because of their school tasks, deadlines or maybe just a chat with their friends.
Suggestion
is
However
, the young today are not always careless about their health
and their life
. Trends such
as eating organic products, becoming vegetarian are set up by many young persons to raise the awareness of healthy body and acquiring a longevity in their life
. Clubs of sport are established more and more by youngsters to earning a good shape and good health
state. What is more, they become activists who give helps not only for people at their age but
Accept comma addition
age, but
also
the elders who want to become healthy to approach to many health
instructions and helpful information about medic and ways to protect health
. And despite having a busy life
, some people are trying to find their own way to playing sports and eating rationally.
In conclusion, I believe that though the changes that the modern generation
has made may be not really suitable for the previous generation
, they are just a justification to the society. So they must have weak spots and strengths that we need to considerate properlySubmitted by tructhanhthanh1706 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite