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Band 4

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #island #construction #tourist #facilities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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A peninsula is a land
that is
Linking Words
 surrounded by bodies of water. It can be small or large.
Along with
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 trees, grass, and sand. In spite of these characteristics, it can change as
world
Add an article
the world
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 is evolving. First and foremost, a peninsula can take up to 100 metres of land.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mariana island which committing a series of
Add an article
the volcano
a volcano
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volcano
Fix the agreement mistake
volcanoes
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 on the west of the Pacific ocean.
Thus
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,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of peninsula is unable to renovate because
it's
Replace the word
its
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volcano
Fix the agreement mistake
volcanoes
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 are known to be dormant.
Above all
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, an island can be redesigned into a tourist attraction.
For instance
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, putting
an
Correct article usage
apply
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accommodation, like cottages
along with
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footpath
Correct article usage
a footpath
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 surrounding the main reception with a vehicle track as well.
Along with
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 the reception, there is one restaurant with a vehicle track for vacations. Not only a restaurant but
also
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, you can see the pier where you can rent a boat and a beach where you can enjoy swimming.
Therefore
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, I conclude that a particular place, especially an archipelago can be reconstructed into a wonderful place worth visiting. Unless the archipelago is a restricted area, people should never go there
due to
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 active volcanoes or wild animals.
Hence
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, it is still relaxing to visit an island once in a
while
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "along with".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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