In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #habits #lifestyles #children #generations #people #effect #health

As the world rapidly changes

everyday

Suggestion

every day

, people are adapting to more the changes in stuffs they work with, which raised the concern of children’s eating habits and

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

today.It

is believe

Suggestion

is believed

that these changes have nothing more than

drawbacks

Suggestion

the drawbacks

unlike their previous generations which bring more positive effect.In my opinion, I entirely agree with

this

statement on account of these viewpoints below

Accept space

To begin

with, people are

worrying

Suggestion

worried

because of the processed foods that their kids are consuming rather than those fresh vegetables and fruits the previous generations used to eat.

Moreover

, the problem is the increasing amounts of fast food restaurants globally. The

stuff

personnel who assist their superior in carrying out an assigned task

staff

they provide are low in nutrition

Accept space

high in fat and calories and contains too much oil. What is worse, they are reasons to most of the

illness children

Accept comma addition

illness, children

are having at the moment.

Secondly

, the development of modern technology

also

involves in creating

massive effect

Suggestion

a massive effect

on children.

Such

as computer games and video games

Accept space

they are so addicting that children today spend all day long to play and forget all about activities

outdoor

Suggestion

outdoors

. When looking in the past, we see children taking part in sports and activities that keep them fit and get to know more

Suggestion

about

the society To sum up, today children's eating habits and lifestyles are not as healthy as earlier generations because of the junk foods and the addiction to games making them not participating in exercises and sports.It all comes down to their parents who must be considerate and be helping them to recover the traditional ways of living and eating so that they are back on track to being healthy.

Otherwise

Accept space

own lovely children will face

serious problem

Suggestion

serious problems

a serious problem

in the future.

Submitted by tructhanhthanh1706 on Fri Jan 31 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyles of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Task 2: Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.