People should choose their course of study not on the basis of their own interests, but based on the kinds of jobs they can get. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is debatable whether the masses should
study
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
their interests or
according to
Linking Words
the opportunities that they can get to achieve success. To some extent, I agree with
this
Linking Words
statement
due to
Linking Words
several reasons, which include a lack of chances in some
fields
Use synonyms
, competition, and so on.
To begin
Linking Words
, the first and foremost reason for agreeing with the statement is that individuals should focus on available positions for their
study
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
a few reasons. The first is competition; To explain it, in today fast fast-paced, and expensive life everyone wants to earn better without hard
work
Use synonyms
;
while
Linking Words
some
fields
Use synonyms
require a lot of hard
work
Use synonyms
and memory
such
Linking Words
as doctors, and teaching, some
fields
Use synonyms
are easier, like cashier, receptionist, data entry, which need lowest
study
Use synonyms
. So, a lot of people show their interest in these areas, which leads to competition, and the chances of getting employment are low.
For example
Linking Words
, the survey conducted by Patiala University has reported that the people born in the 19th century had low skills as they just focused on family
work
Use synonyms
, especially in the
fields
Use synonyms
, and today they have nothing to do because of limited knowledge and ability. Moving
further
Linking Words
towards those who oppose
this
Linking Words
view and believe that folks need to investigate
work
Use synonyms
possibilities and
then
Linking Words
conclude in which stream they should
study
Use synonyms
, for the reason wastes time and energy. To elaborate, sometimes a person spends a lot of years completing graduation in a specific area;
however
Linking Words
, when he or she tries to find a job,
then
Linking Words
realizes that
this
Linking Words
profession is not worth it
due to
Linking Words
low Vacant positions, which is not only a waste of time but
also
Linking Words
money.
For instance
Linking Words
, the boy in my neighbourhood completed his graduation in the commerce field, but now he does not have
work
Use synonyms
, since in India there is no demand for
this
Linking Words
area;
however
Linking Words
, in some big cities there are a few openings, but these places are too far for him.
As a result
Linking Words
, now he is just working in the
fields
Use synonyms
and earning very little.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
I do not fully support rushing towards multiple options and abandoning one’s passion for a particular field, it is wise to conduct some research before making any educational decisions, as the saying goes, “precaution is better than cure.”

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The introduction presents the topic but could be clearer. Try to state your position more firmly. Also, add a brief outline of your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader. Ensure there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Examples can make your points more convincing.
Content
You have shown argument on both sides of the topic, which is good for balance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • course of study
  • job prospects
  • market demands
  • employment opportunities
  • financial security
  • personal fulfillment
  • innovation
  • job market
  • career advancement
  • critical thinking
  • creativity
  • adaptability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: